Negativity Is Sabotaging Your Success
In order to be successful, you need to have a successful mindset.
I remember a time when I was really insecure. I thought I was the worst person for any job, even the ones I enjoyed. I always thought of others as always being better than me. No matter how hard I worked, what awards I got, what merits I have, I always felt inadequate. I would chicken out of responsibilities or tasks as I felt that I would definitely mess it up. This mindset prevented me from achieving anything really spectacular or worth talking about.
Even now, I still have those thoughts from time to time, but I’ve learnt how to come to terms with it and make peace. Negative thoughts no longer linger and affect me the way it did last time. This release has allowed me to realise my own ability and let me become a better version of myself.
Negativity was destroying my potential success.
One day, I decided that I was going to change and improve myself, starting with my thoughts. If I did not change, neither would my life.
Negative thoughts are the greatest enemies to your success. They drain you out, restrict you, and take away all joy from your life. Excessive negativity can even lead to mental disorders such as anxiety and depressions, both of which will just further hinder your success.
Negative thoughts can be bred from having too many expectations of yourself, as with my case, or being easily affected by everything happening around you. Smart, competent people question their competency and internalize their fears and failures. Even the most intelligent people in the world aren’t immune to their negative thoughts, they just learn how to manage them.
Negative thoughts can lead to irrational fears, which get in your way of success and thinking. It can lead you to make false assumptions that you will fail regardless of what you do. This can also be detrimental to your relationships, as you will always assume someone is upset or angry when they are just concerned with you.
In short, negative thoughts are bad and sabotages your success. Here are a few common types of negative thinking and how to overcome them.
Types of Negative Thinking
Negative Mental Filter
This occurs when you pick out all the negative aspects of something and leave out the positive. You may receive many positive things but you only focus on the negatives. For example, you can be complimented 50 times every day, but if someone criticises you once in a month, you will dwell on that for weeks to come. Also known as pessimism.
Discounting the positives
You tend to downplay success and positive experience by saying that they don’t count. I myself am guilty of this as well. If I were to get full marks on a test, I would probably just go back to normal after the initial joy. If I were to fail a test instead, I would dwell on it for years, not exaggerating. If you do a good job, you say that anyone could do the same or that it is expected so why get so happy about it anyway?
A very common concern that others will discover that you are not as amazing as you appear to be. You fear people will find out how incapable, inadept and inadequate you are. This causes you to withhold or stop what you like doing out of irrational fear that may not even exist. This kills your dreams, goals and hence, your success.
Instead of adapting to new situations or learning how to best handle unexpected situations, you want them to turn out the way you hoped. Hence, more often than not, when it doesn’t work out, you start bombarding yourself with the word “Should”. “I should have done this”, “I should have done that”. This leads to guilt and frustration and when directed at others, leads to anger, resentment and conflict. Sounds familiar?
Instead of using logic and cold hard facts, you let your emotions and perceptions lead you and assume that they are the law. You assume that your negative emotions are proof of how things will go. You let the fear guide you instead of making logical decisions. For example, you may think that you can’t do public speaking, so public speaking is a bad idea for you to try.
How To Change Your Negative Mindset
Look At Logic And Evidence
Don’t assume that your negative thoughts are definitely true. Usually, it isn’t. If you think you are not capable of public speaking, then challenge it. Prove yourself wrong. If others can do it, so can you. Just try it, even if you don’t like it, at least you now have evidence and experience to back up your thoughts.
Share The Blame
When something goes wrong, be realistic and figure out why. It may be your fault, but not entirely. In most situations, for a complete collapse to happen, there must have been a series of detrimental events that led to that. Take responsibility only for what you did wrong, and realise that you are not the only factor that caused the crash. However, make sure to not point the blame or attack others who also had a hand in it. Everyone needs to own up to their mistakes themselves.
Watch The Self-Talk
What we say we are is what we will become. Pay close attention to what you say to yourself and remove all harsh self-talk or insults to yourself. Don’t call yourself a fool, an idiot or a complete loser. Give yourself words of encouragement and support. Recite inspirational quotes to gather your courage and confidence. Do your best.
Others: Protecting Yourself On Zoom
Negative thoughts are like a plague that infects everyone at some point. The moment you resolve to avoid these thoughts and decide to not let self-doubt control your life is when you will truly be on the path to success.
The first step is to understand where your negative thoughts come from and how to replace them with positive beliefs.
You can do this. take it one step at a time and do your best.
You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
- Martin Luther King